Just Saying it Out Loud - VENTING - NO REPLY

noone listens

feeds@yuku.com (oxygen) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:58:44 GMT

I feel unwanted unloved unworthy
I feel no one cares
i am nothing
i am tired of reaching out
tired of trying to make sense
i don't feel heard
i don't feel supported

i hurt all over

Learning Curve

feeds@yuku.com (wantstorun) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 07:13:55 GMT

Okay, I know it is a lot to take in, all this "new" information about me. But here's the thing.

I AM NOT BROKEN! Get it?

NO THESE "PARTS" aren't just fragments to "get tuned up." It doesn't work that way.

I know you don't mean offense and are just operating out of confusion and anger and overload right now. But please - try to think before you speak.
...

Memory please free me

feeds@yuku.com (Dream) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:07:40 GMT

Get it out the memory. Get it to the surface and let it go. how to deal with something you do not know. Coping through something that is to painful to see is not coping. Its running from the dark place or trying hard to see the face. I know its you, and when you call you tell the truth. Dose it matter, no of course not, but I can not deal with something that is not there... So come back and let me decide. I'll drop it and move on and no longer hide....

SilentWords.

feeds@yuku.com (Leo) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 23:12:34 GMT

I am not one to rant as my conflicts are typically quite easily resolved. This though, I never saw such clarity in a moment of controlled rage, or borderline aggression. I can see why people stand back when they see my eyes changing a few tints darker, and my face turn emotionless. This world has not changed enough, the people, the ideas, the dreams. Baby steps they say, but each step is a generation. Final note: "To judge another is to judge thy self"

~

names

feeds@yuku.com (Yeti) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:35:06 GMT

This stupid thing on my name is really dumb. ZAARRRRRGGGGGGH I want it taken off! It is wrecking it.

exploitation of the vulnerable-- RAGE

feeds@yuku.com (deerstep) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:12:17 GMT

I've calmed down a bit since being triggered. Apparently the new Seroquel prescription does not have a complete Zombifying effect on me, as I experienced some pretty intense feelings of rage.

RAGE is one of those emotions my system works at trying to avoid the most. And I'll avoid/numb/deny through intellectualizing and even through compassion. . . ? I don't really know?

Sometimes I'll walk into situations rather...

Job

feeds@yuku.com (DIDyouknow) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 23:36:36 GMT

I HATE MY JOB. DO NOT EVER WORK IN THE FOOD INDUSTRY EVER BECAUSE ALL PEOPLE DO IS @%%*% ABOUT HOW THERE PEPPERONI ISN'T IN THE RIGHT *%%!%*@ PLACE ON THE *%%!%*@ PIZZA! I REALLY HATE IT ON SUNDAYS WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR *%%!%*@ HYPACRITS THAT SHUN YOU FOR WORKING ON SUNDAY. IF EVERYBODY DIDN'T BUY %%+# ON SUNDAY THAN WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORK ON SUNDAYS NOW WOULD WE YOU *%%!%*@ DUMB **% PEOPLE WITH YOUR *%%!%*@ LOTUS, PORCHES, AND HIGH DOLLAR BMW
THAT WANT TO...

A poem

feeds@yuku.com (TheMaskedLion) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:17:06 GMT

Andrea,

I looked into your eyes

And saw nothing there

"I value your friendship" you said, but that just isn't enough

Never was enough

Never could be enough

Got me thinking about why I was never enough for you

All the things I became, all the games I played

And all this time I thought I was winning

But of course it was all just a lie

Why did I ever think I deserved the truth?

Life....

feeds@yuku.com (nobodyatall) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 11:16:42 GMT

is just so damn complicated!!!

Why Is It ...

feeds@yuku.com (wantstorun) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 10:15:38 GMT

... that every time I talk to you, I end up feeling guilty and then sad? How can it be that you have absolutely no idea the agony I am going through? Yet in with the agony is guilt - that I haven't called sooner; that I haven't come to see you lately; that I get to see K-1 and K-2 and you don't.

Even if I flat-out told you right now, you'd not understand. You don't even know it's the month of September ... how can I expect that you'd understand any of...

2SecondRant

feeds@yuku.com (Leo) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:16:17 GMT

I'd assume this is good a place as any, though this rant could fit in another thread *shrugs*.
I will do my best to keep the foul terms at bay :)
So like the last few months or... say since January? every month has seemingly had an occurrence or two to happily swipe us on our rears. This has happily left a financial plummet making the hope to make ends meet per month seem like a fairytale. August... of this year (last month) was already to be hopeless considering all of the many...

aww crap (long and rambly, these are not the droids you're looking for)

feeds@yuku.com (Adrian) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:46:59 GMT

I'm pretty drunk (yay girly beer) but think I needed somewhere to vent.

I went to the bathroom a bit ago and for some reason that reminded me of this girl (I'm a girl too, I know the name throws it off) that I have/had a huge crush on. She lives on the other side of the states and even went so far as to visit me. I tried to show her a good time and I felt like a tour guide, which was fine but she ended up feeling really distant. Online she was a bit flirtatious and really...

too much!

feeds@yuku.com (bobbiwib) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 08:57:14 GMT

I am so sick of the way people look at me! I hate our body I hate it. I'm thin in my mind. I worked hard to look like this, I exercised every day and I still do, but what does it matter when I'm in this stupid chubby curly-haired brunette body??? im too tall, im too big, i walk into doors

i hate it i hate it and it isnt fair. i get scared when i see my reflection. i get scared most of the time by most things... im a wimp. im pathetic. im meant to be strong and brave and...

people who won't take responsiblity

feeds@yuku.com (Raistlin) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:36:12 GMT

A long time ago we watched this episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Part of the episode dealt with some cursed chocolate bars that made any adult who ate them act like a teenager again. I thought they were just fiction. After all they can't exist, right? I mean there isn't a way for a candy bar to do that to people. Lately I am beginning to wonder. What other reason could there be for running into so many irresponsible people.

Let me just vent about the three main...

to my mother

feeds@yuku.com (idontevenknow) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 08:03:38 GMT

I am so sick of you. Honestly, I wouldn't be sad if you died. I would dance on your grave and spit in your coffin. I can't believe the way you treat me. I'm not a child. I can make my own decisions. I hate you. I hate everything you stand for. I hate that you don't accept me. I hate the things you say about me. I hate the things you say about my girlfriend. Honestly? She the most supportive and caring person. She takes care of me. She loves me and she accepts me and...

unsupportive codependants!

feeds@yuku.com (nobodyatall) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:54:54 GMT

I am sooo sick of some of the people in the support for support people section. I am just going to vent here because no one will listen to me and I don't want anyone talking back with excuses. There are some people on there who seem to want to have a contest over who is the most wounded by their DID loved one and it is plain for the world to see that they would rather complain about the person they supposedly care about than get to know what the source of the conflict is. These same...

breaking our rule

feeds@yuku.com (Raistlin) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 21:44:57 GMT

The Ambien has not sent us to bed yet and I'm messed up. Life is so hard. Our computer needs work done to it, our father won't call us, work is terrible and I'm sure to be judged for this but the Ambien makes it easy to say. I want to be a woman. To have the body of a woman. Why am i stuck like this? Thanks to fertility drugs in the 70's our body became feminized and our mind too. I wish women would accept us. Then we could stop living a lie. Sometimes I hope the pains are...

Alone and angry

feeds@yuku.com (TheClan AndMe) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:40:59 GMT

Still alone and bored. Waiting for a loved one to get off work. His mother somehow got our new phone number through our bills or something. She just called here yelling at the world because we had been keep a *gasp* secret from her dumb %$% self in order to keep him from getting even more verbal abuse. I'm freakin abused, he's freakin abused. I just cant take his mother on top of my own parents. we finally snapped with it today. We told him if he doesnt stand up to her and make her...

Fighting so hard to feel good....

feeds@yuku.com (karlyandkidz) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:28:12 GMT

Fighting so hard to feel good...
when everything feels likes it's inside out.....upside down....
........and sideways...
and it only fees normal to feel bad....

Those inside search out the darkness
and the sadness......because it's the only way
we know how to function....

Right is wrong.....wrong is right.....
..........bad is good....
that's our reality...our normalcy.....

It's our...

Just Because

feeds@yuku.com (thekidd20) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 07:27:15 GMT

Our roomate had a story she keeps repeating about a schizoprenic who killed her busband with bleach. She never had any reason to believe any Transformer might be anywhere near dangerous. And then the bleach stories. She started hiding our bleach. Putting some kind of coloring in the new bleach we bought. Our old bleach we found under a bucket she accidently told us we could use to dump water of the bath tub. So on the 103 + degree record breaking day, our tiny refrigrator had already broke...